Magic Stone Soup

Once upon a time, somewhere in post-war Eastern Europe, there was a great famine in which people jealously hoarded whatever food they could find, hiding it even from their friends and neighbors. One day a wandering soldier came into a village and began asking questions as if he planned to stay for the night.

“There’s not a bite to eat in the whole province,” he was told. “Better keep moving on.”

“Oh, I have everything I need,” he said. “In fact, I was thinking of making some stone soup to share with all of you.” He pulled an iron cauldron from his wagon, filled it with water, and built a fire under it. Then, with great ceremony, he drew an ordinary-looking stone from a velvet bag and dropped it into the water.

By now, hearing the rumor of food, most of the villagers had come to the square or watched from their windows. As the soldier sniffed the “broth” and licked his lips in anticipation, hunger began to overcome their skepticism.

“Ahh,” the soldier said to himself rather loudly, “I do like a tasty stone soup. Of course, stone soup with cabbage — that’s hard to beat.”

Soon a villager approached hesitantly, holding a cabbage he’d retrieved from its hiding place, and added it to the pot. “Capital!” cried the soldier. “You know, I once had stone soup with cabbage and a bit of salt beef as well, and it was fit for a king.”

The village butcher managed to find some salt beef . . . and so it went, through potatoes, onions, carrots, mushrooms, and so on, until there was indeed a delicious meal for all. The villagers offered the soldier a great deal of money for the magic stone, but he refused to sell and traveled on the next day. The moral is that by working together, with everyone contributing what they can, a greater good is achieved.

Procrastination is a learned behavior. Here is a very interesting metaphor of procrastination that I ran into recently in the book The Now Habit by Neil Fiore.  I am not much of a self help book reader, however, this section on procrastination was highly recommended to me. This helps us to understand how we procrastinate. What goes on in our minds that leads us to develop habits of procrastination. I found the part very interesting and would like to share it with you here.

Imagine for a few minutes that the test or task in your life is to walk a board.

Situation A. The task before you is to walk a solid board that is thirty feet long, four inches thick, and one foot wide. You have all the physical, mental, and emotional abilities necessary to perform this task. You can carefully place one foot in front of the other, or you can dance, skip, or leap across the board. You can do it. No problem.

Take a minute to close your eyes, relax, and imagine yourself in that situation. Notice how you feel about this task.Are you scared or blocked in any way? Do you feel any need to procrastinate? Fear of failing or making a mistake cannot be an issue here, but you might find that you delay starting out of a need to assert your independence and to resist being asked to do even a simple task such as walking a board.

Situation B. Now imagine that the task is just the same, to walk a board thirty feet long and one foot wide, and you have the same abilities; only now the board is suspended between two buildings 100 feet above the pavement. Look across to the other end of the board and contemplate beginning your assignment.

What do you feel? What are you thinking about? What are you saying to yourself? Take a moment to notice the differences in your reactions from situation A. Notice how rapidly your feelings about the task change when the height of the board changes and the consequences of falling are greater. You may find yourself responding, “I’m thinking about the height. What If I fall? The consequences of falling or making a mistake would probably be death.”

Of course, while you are focusing only on the danger of falling you are losing sight of the simplicity of the task and forgetting that just a moment ago you had all the ability to do it with no problems. The danger of a mistake is now so great that you must stop to consider this threat to your life. It’s no longer just a job, a test, a project; it’s your life, your future that’s at stake. There’s no way you can be calm now; you’re already feeling the adrenaline rush of the stress response as you look over the edge, presenting to your mind and body the image of falling 100 feet. There’s real reason to fear: “If I made a mistake I would die.” Regardless of how simple the task, and regardless of how capable you are, the fear that a mistake could mean the end of your life makes it impossible to take that first step.

Ironically, on a psychological level you are often the one who raises the board off the ground by changing a straightforward task into a test of your worth, proof that you are acceptable, a prediction that you will be successful and happy or a failure and miserable. In most cases you are the one who confuses just doing the job with testing your worth, where one possible mistake would feel like the end of the world. When your early training leads you to believe that your self-worth is determined by your performance, you focus on psychological self-protection from fear of failing (and falling), rather than on just doing the job.

Situation C. In this scene you are still on the board suspended between two buildings, 100 feet above the ground. The task remains simple and you still have all the ability necessary to do it, yet you remain frozen on your end of the board. While thinking about what to do, you suddenly notice that the building supporting your end of the board is on fire.

What thoughts and feelings occur? How have you changed your focus from the previous situation? Remember, just a moment ago you were frozen in fright about the possibility of falling 100 feet. Do you find yourself thinking, “I’ve got to get across now. No time to worry about falling or doing it perfectly, I’ll do it any old way I can. Dignity and embarrassment are no longer relevant.”

A moment ago, the mere image of a life-threatening situation may have caused you stress. But notice how quickly your mind and body redirect your energy away from worry, ambivalence, and procrastination toward productive action once you’ve made a decision. (If the image of the fire was not a great motivator for you, see how your worries about the task and the dangers of falling change when you imagine that a small child is on the other side crying for your help.)

Now that you have an immediate time pressure, a real deadline, you jump into the task with both feet, doing it any old way you can. You’re no longer just facing a possibility or fear of pain and death, now you’re confronting real pain and certain death. Now you find yourself unstuck and motivated. And that’s how we use procrastination to get ourselves unstuck from a situation we created in the first place!

When you procrastinate, it’s as if you are the one raising the board off the ground, getting yourself frozen, and then lighting that fire to create the pressure of a real deadline.

First you give a task or a goal the ability to determine your worth and happiness. Through perfectionism you raise the task 100 feet above the ground, whereby any mistakes would be tantamount to death, so that any failure or rejection would be intolerable. You find yourself frozen with anxiety.You then use procrastination to escape  your dilemma, which brings the deadline closer, creating time pressure, a higher level of anxiety, and a more immediate and frightening threat than even your fear of failure or of criticism for imperfect work.

Situation D. You’re back on the board again, 100 feet above the ground. There’s no fire this time, but there is a net a strong, supportive net, just beneath the board.

What are your feelings now? Can you imagine yourself walking that board, contemplating the completion of this task? “No problem,” most people say. “I can do it now. It might even be fun. Even if I fell, I could bounce in the net.”

You now know that if you fall the worst that could happen is that you might feel a little embarrassed. Falling no longer means death. A mistake does not mean the end of the world. You can recover from any fall. No single mistake would mean the end for you. You can always give yourself another shot at the task.

It’s interesting to note how many times successful people suffer through catastrophes and bankruptcies. The successful person fails many times and bounces back; but the failure fails only once, letting that one failure become a judgment of his worth, and thus his label. Following the example of most successful people, you could fall many times, repeatedly using your net to bounce back in order to work for another success. Failure and mistakes then cannot stop you because they can’t take away your inner worth and drive.

However no book can teach you self-worth.

I am no productivity guru. In fact, I rate myself as very average when it comes to being optimized, primed and ready for anything. Till recently, I did not realize I should have a terrific productivity system in place to feel optimized, primed and ready for anything! I often get a feeling that I missed something important while running behind that high priority to do item. Like having fun while working.

The tyranny of to-do lists is the same as the tyranny of over talkative, micro managers. Making a to-do list is planning. Planning is not doing. In fact, at some point of time, the to do list gains an upper hand over the pleasure of doing something. I might be among the minority or doing something wrong. There have been times I add an item which is fun, but when I get to doing it, the fun evaporates and vanishes.

So, I am looking to make a few changes. I honestly don’t know if there is an alternative to the tyranny of the to do list. However, since I have identified it as the main cause of my distress I am attempting a change.

The whole idea is to get back in control. To Do is no longer the prime driver of my time. In fact, I have chucked out the To Do lists. The rigidity of the list has to be replaced with the flow of activities.

Here are some ideas that I have been thinking of.

Planning is usually revealed in retrospect. Like success. Life is a complex series of events. The human mind is incapable of comprehending all the possibilities. It is impossible to factor in things according to their importance in a dynamic system like the events of everyday life. It requires constant steering and readjustments. Like a missile hitting a moving target.In a constant state of change, we need the ability to adapt, focus on what is in front of us and not what is on the horizon.

Things are never finished and finishing things is often beyond our capabilities, dependent on many external factors. Starting is within our control. We can look at the situation now and choose to start. Once we are in the present and not looking at the future or predicting/measuring how things should have been, we can concentrate on the doing.

Getting rid of the guilt by separating efficiency from ego is another step. I am not just my work. I am not just my goals. A realization that self worth comes above success, failure, efficiency, capability provides a certain level of safety to play freely with the work in front of us. This is important.

Recreation as a tool to concentrate better. We need time away from work to do quality work, enjoy work and develop a capacity to concentrate and engage with our work. This is a contrarian concept, but all artists, musicians and athletes whose work is performance will vouch for the fact that more time they spend away from work, free of guilt, the better the quality of their work.

After spending 20 to 30 minutes, I seem to be drawn towards the stationery section. There, I usually pick up a beautiful, luxuriously built blank notebook. The kind that would have lavish binding, gilded pages and superb paper quality.

What’s going on?

Before this blank book phase, I used be drawn to buying the same titles again and again. This is a curious phenonmenon. Being slightly disturbed by this, I decided to investigate this strange case of recurring books. I found that there were many other friends in whose bookshelves there lived these kind of twin books. They appeared in slightly different covers, older versions, different formats and typography. These books were different for different people.  The recurring book phenomenon is puzzling. It is like a peculiar case of deja vu. Something is wrong with the Matrix!

Like all book lovers, I end up amassing quite a bit of them and procrastinate endlessly on giving them up to make space for new and more interesting ones. When faced with the inevitable option of having to dispose off books, I still seem to cling to the twin books preferring to sacrifice less dearer books.

In case you are wondering, my two main recurring books are Animal Farm and Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance. Funnily, when I lend it to someone, I insist on getting it back as soon as possible. Let it be known for the sake of these recurring twin, triplet and sometimes (OMG!) quintuplet books, a lot of shelf space and books have been sacrificed!

Recurring Books!

Do you have multiple copies of the same books?

What is your excuse/explanation?

:)